Only the Father you will be.

Before I get into the  main part of this post, I have to give some background for some of you.

In the fictional world of Star Wars, there is a culture known as The Mandalorians. The Mandalorians are not a race. They are an adoptive culture. All you need to possess to become Mandalorian, is the desire to be Mandalorian. The armor that I wear is that of a Mandalorian. The culture really appeals to me. Family is a very important factor of their culture. Not along bloodlines (as discussed in a prior posting). But along the lines of who truly is family to you.

Within this culture, there are numerous proverbs and sayings. One of my favorites.

"No one cares who your father is, only the father you will be"

I interpret this, based both on my own beliefs and the culture it is derived from, as the fact that Father is a title that is not given, but is earned. 

I take this as a challenge. Let me tell you why.

Because I DO care who my father is. First, I have to say that Father is the one who raised you. Father, to me, has nothing to do with genes, and everything to do with heart. It is earned, not  given.

My father is a man that did not have to be. He is a man that fell in love with my mother. He took her children as his own. He gave me his name. He raised me. He loved me. He taught me. He sacrificed for me. He fought me. He fought for me. He has been there for me every day of my life. He made mistakes along the way, but never gave up trying to be the best father he could be. If it was not for him, I do not like to think of the life that my mother and I would have had. How much different would I be?  

So I feel very sorry for those that say "but he's not your father". Because Fuck You.   No other man on this planet, past, present or future, will be my father. No one else has earned that title. 

The day I became a father in my own right, the pride in his eyes was immense. And  that's when I understood. That's when you know what kind of father you will be.

No one cares who your father is, only the father you will be. Because your own father no longer cares about the job he did, only the job you will do. Because it's still his job to guide you. to help you. Because like any good father, he wants you to succeed. And this is what makes him a GRAND father. 

As I face new challenges every day with my boys, I have the example that my father set for me as a guide. Sometimes, I will follow that guide. Other times I will recognize the mistakes he made and choose another path. 

I can only hope, 30 years from now, when my boys are old enough to be fathers in their own right, that I have done half the job my father has.

I love you Dad. Thank you.